I have always been a little startled at how "popular" it is to get pregnant when you already have a baby. Or a newborn. I have heard people say how "great it is" to have your kids close in age--they can play with each other, entertain each other, etc. But this idea has always made me uncomfortable and has left me feeling like there's got to be a different way to do things.
I have recently come to terms with the fact that it's okay that Dan and I are doing things differently. I have been able to replace my guilt of having an only child with the celebration of having an only child. What a wonderful thing it is! I no longer feel time pressure to hurry up and give Lily a sibling to play with. I no longer feel guilt that she's missing out on something. She's really not. It's just a different lifestyle, a different way to go about things. A family is a family, no matter how big or small.
Lily is such a great girl and we are so happy to have her. And I am happy to let it be that way. Someday down the road changes may come, but right now I feel so at peace with doing things differently.
1 year ago
15 comments:
I totally agree with you. I have felt the same way many times. Your family is exactly that-YOUR family. It doesn't need to fit into the Utah mold. I can go on and on about this subject:) Your family is great!
I agree! I feel like it is everyone's own decision to decide what is right for them. I have always wanted a little more space in between my kids and feel guilty even thinking about our next child because I don't want to rob Lola of any precious time alone with us. But I also get baby hungry and can understand why some may have them closer. Although, I know I couldn't handle 2 babies at once... I would need 2 1/2 to 3 years in between at least!!! {sorry that was long!}
Amen to that! You're the best and Lily is the cutest only child I've ever met!!
Love that picture of you guys and Lily's smile is great. Having just had my second and with Xander being 3 next month, I seriously don't know how people can do it any closer. Seriously, I'm beginning to think I must have a personality quirk that makes me unable to handle more than one baby/toddler at once. =) You gotta do what's right for your family. I'm sure in UT you feel a lot more pressure. In our ward out here, almost half the families have only 2 kids.
Well said...its all good. There is no right or wrong. Which means, I hope you agree that its not WRONG to have kids close together too-just different.
Definitely. The size of your family is a personal decision. You don't have to justify it to anyone or compete in a "biggest family" contest. Do what works for you and makes you happy.
I used to say I wanted 6 kids...but now after having one and realizing how much time, energy and resources it takes to be the kind of mom I want to be I feel like I'll be complete with two kids. So one more and I'm done. I'm very cool with that.
she is such a sweet girl and has wonderful parents!
You're so cute!! And that family picture is great!! As long as you and Dan are happy and content with with however many kids you have is all that matters.. Wether it's one or ten ;)
I love that cute picture! we need to do some more pictures this summer... sometimes i wish i still had only one! but this is my last...so i guess i am happy that i know i will never have to do this again! (unless i will be smitten for having just said that) hahaha
by the way...this is mara
I want more kids.
Ha ha ha, you guys are hilarious.
Good for you! You are so right, I don't think anyone could have said it better. There really is no wrong or right decision. It's just a decision you must make for you and your family. What's right for you may not be right for someone else. I wouldn't be able to handle two babies at once either. But a lot of people can, and do. ;)
I'm glad you know what's right for you and that you're doing it! :)
And PS, I love that pictures of you guys too! Ha. So adorable!
Actually, I think everyone should have 17 kids, and I for one, am doing my part.
JK:)
Women should have as many as they want AND can be a good mom to. You're a great mom, and have a great family.
Hey, ready for the library again?
mim
Rachel, you're totally right...we should all do we makes our families happy and not worry what our neighbors are doing...which is sometimes easier said than done.
And sometimes, we get a little surprise :) And then we have babies 15 months apart, which is great, too. :)
Lily is darling and I'm glad you've found so much happiness in your family!
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